


The First Kiss Stole The Breath From My Lips, Why Did The Last One Tear Us Apart?

by OkayKaylyn



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Last Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 06:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OkayKaylyn/pseuds/OkayKaylyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey contemplates his and Ian's last kiss, angsty drabble</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Kiss Stole The Breath From My Lips, Why Did The Last One Tear Us Apart?

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song Kids In Love by Mayday Parade

Mickey doesn't know how long he sits on his bed crying, he knows he hadn't cried like this since his mom died, and of fucking course it would be a Gallagher to make him break again. He rubs his eyes until they're sore and red, but it makes him stop crying, finally.

He lays back on his bed, still having to blink back a few stray tears, he closes his eyes tightly but, no, that doesn't help anything, because Ian's face is burned into the inside of his eyelids. And not his good memories of Ian either, not the sly looks he'd give him in the store, not his laugh when they were high, not his small smile when Mickey first kissed him.

It's the bad memories, the look Ian gave him before Mickey ran out of the store to kill his dad, the terrified glint in his eyes when Terry caught them, the hurt on his face when Mickey threw that first punch, and worst of all, the tears and betrayal Mickey saw before going off to marry Svetlana. 

Mickey sniffs and fists his eyes again, emotions going crazy. He doesn't know if he should be pissed that Ian ditched, sad that he left him without a second thought, or relieved because Ian would be safer in the army than he would anywhere near Terry.

Mickey tries to think of all the good times, most of them involve fucking, of course, but not all.

Mickey scoffs bitterly, Svetlana could fuck him all she wants but she could never "fuck the faggot out of him" as Terry so kindly put it. 

He sighs and sits back up. "Fuck" he hisses as another thought crosses his mind. He will probably never kiss Ian again.

He knows how gay that thought is, he should be more concerned about the fact Ian will probably never fuck him again but... Well they had fucked countless times, but they'd only kissed twice, Mickey was just getting used to it, actually starting to like it. He liked the way Ian licked into his mouth and bit his bottom lip, Ian kissed liked he fucked, dirty and rough, and Mickey fucking loved it.

He thinks back to the day of his wedding, that fucking horrible day. He had kissed Ian, he had ran his fingers through the hairs on the back of Ian's neck, he had grabbed at Ian's waist and pulled his coat off... But he hadn't kissed him like it'd be the last time.

He hadn't tugged on his hair, hadn't mapped out Ian's mouth with his tongue, hadn't locked his arms behind Ian's neck like he was never going to let go.

There was still so much he wanted to try! He wanted to taste the back of Ian's teeth, he wanted to know where pressing kisses would make Ian gasp the loudest, he wanted to mumble things into Ian's mouth, things neither of them understand. 

If he had known that'd be the last time he would get to kiss Ian he would've put his all into it. He would've made Ian hear the things he was too scared to say. He would've made sure Ian could feel Mickey's heart against his chest, he wouldn't have been afraid to let Ian hear the little gasps that escaped him when Ian tugged on his waist. 

But he hadn't known that that would be their last kiss. The thought never even crossed his mind, he wouldn't let it. He thought he had at least a year or two before Ian fucked off to war. 

He was sure Ian would never leave him the way he was constantly leaving Ian.


End file.
